Flash stupid

I decided this morning that I would go find a nice nature trail in the city of San Antonio. I did some searching, and found a trail site that described the location of a 5 mile nature trail. After a brief Google Maps consultation, I took off.

My bad choice occurred when, upon arriving at the desired area, I found a road block. You know the ones, the orange and white saw-horses that are put up when, say, a road has flooded out. I mean, come on, who really believes those things anyway?

Now, I'm an experienced driver. I know that you don't drive into water. And there was none, so I followed a little dirt access path past the barracade. Oddly enough, another driver did this shortly afterwards.

I drove slowly down the road, looking for evidence of this trailhead, and as I reached the top of a hill, I saw that there was indeed flooding across the bottom. So, I turned around, figuring I'd try again another day and just hit the gym. The car behind me turned around after I did, obviously reaching the same conclusion. However, she did so much more quickly. Which is why the cop who was guarding the flooded road caught her first.

I finished turning around and attempted to drive calmly passed the officer and back out past the barricade. He gave me a gesture of "talk to the hand" which I interpreted to mean "stop."

At which point, he began the rather intense interrogation. The sole purpose of which seemed to be getting me to understand what a complete idiot I was. He examined my Kansas information, and listened to me explain that I was a clueless hiker looking for a trail (thankfully, marked up Google Map was handy). He berated me with some pretty deserving little jabs, and then asked me a rather odd question:

Officer: "Are you a mass murderer?"
Confused me: "No, sir. I'm a high school teacher."

I left with a stern warning, and I doubt the woman pulled over before me (who was waiting in her car during my questioning) got away as cleanly as I did. A tow truck was approaching as I left...