He then promptly asked me how the hell a whale got so far inland, and whether or not I feared harpoonists. Or, he said something about how my BMI indicates that I really am just slightly above normal. But I heard that as, "don't feel bad, fatty fat fatterton. Someday we'll learn how to dig holes big enough to hide your body from sight and the general public won't have to live in fear of your blubber any more."
Here's how my brain handled it...
- Cognitive side: suck it up. You know you're not obese, but you are smart enough to know you need to join a gym and get in shape.
- Emotional side: that huwt my widdle feewings.
- Evil side: listen you scrawny little track-champ. I learned how to snap your neck with a punch to the head when you were still wondering what color your pubic hair would be. Give me one more reason to show you that intense rage trumps muscle right now.
Now, if you'll excuse me, Dora and Diego only provide Daddy one hour of shower, blog, and news time in the morning. I suppose she could watch more TV, but I wouldn't want her to get so fat that she can't help her father shuffle his mouth-breathing gargantuan body through the buffet line.
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4 comments:
Personally... I have that evil side when people tell me that I am overweight too (yes, I have been told this several times). Sometimes it is benificial to give into the dark side. All hail Darth Vader.
what does that skinny no-brained little twerp know anywho? only what is in a book, and odds are good that info is not tempered at all with real-life knowledge.
just use the force to strangle him from the stair-master.
Ninjas need no barbells.
my word- you're huge!
no- not really. in fact, if you're "obese", i'd hate to think what my SO would be considered....
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