25 Things

A Facebook originated meme: 25 random things about me. I think among all my readers, I probably have no secrets left. I have collected a large following from all areas of my life. I'm thankful for you all. If you are reading this and have a blog/Facebook/ning page, consider yourself tagged. Write your own list and post it.

1. I have size 13 feet. My shoes are kayaks with laces.
2. I don't like animals. Except to eat.
3. I have been to 4 foreign countries. 2 by plane, 1 by ferry, 1 by canoe.
4. I enjoy cooking, but not recipes.
5. My Kermit the frog impression is nearly perfect.
6. I can mimic bird calls.
7. I grew up with a kid who would have gladly murdered me, and I will never know why.
8. I love airports.
9. I used to type over 90 words per minute. Then I had my pinky kicked inside-out. The letter P now slows me down some.
10. I have always felt and will always feel fat. Reality doesn't matter.
11. I am dangerous to fight with.
12. I am a foot taller than I was as a freshman in high school and 10 pounds lighter.
13. I love wearing a kilt, and own two.
14. I love singing, but should stick to Kermit impressions.
15. I once kicked my wife in the head while competing in a swing dance competition. She forgave me enough to keep dancing.
16. My brother and I have identical voices. We can trick family in person or on the phone.
17. I don't remember junior high. Most of grade school is fuzzy at best.
18. I sing Harry Connick, Jr. in my head whenever I swim laps. I don't know why.
19. I dream of being interviewed on a show played on NPR.
20. I play electric bass in bands on stage, but am uncomfortable with loud stereos.
21. I wanted to name my daughter Kung Fu. Because Kung Fu Killmer sounds damn fine. And her friends could walk up to her and say, "What up, Fu?"
22. I have a tattoo. The ONLY thing stopping me from getting A LOT more ink is money.
23. If you read my blog (http://ramblinrover.blogspot.com) I have made another list like this before that you can find.
24. My hair has been long enough to put in a pony tail and short enough to look like a military cut.
25. I have been shot between the eyes with an arrow.

Indoor Idiocy

What do you do with a four-year-old on a Saturday when you have recently accumulated a foot of snow? Play outside? WRONG!!! YOU WILL KILL THAT CHILD BECAUSE IT IS ONLY 15 DEGREES!!! YOU'RE AN AWFUL PARENT!!!

No, that sort of fun would be hell on all of us. Instead, we went to Bounceland.

For those of you who are unfamiliar with this strange and mystical place, allow me to paint you a picture (no happy trees needed).
Picture those big inflatable moonwalk things you find at kid's birthday parties (also known as The Pukers). Then add in an inflatable obstacle course of ladders, stairs, slides, narrow openings, and bounces. No, add two of those. Then a few more bouncing rooms, with slides and basketball hoops. Give some of the kids birthday cake. Add a few more inflatable multicolored roller-coasters, and a couple of nearly vertical inflatable slides.

Now put all of this in a large, warehouse structure. Add more children from 9 months of age to 8 years. Crank up some bubblegum flavored rock and roll.

Ta-da.


Not that it was unfun, or even unfunny, but there were a few moments of bewilderment that I must share.

First, this is a picture of the name of this particular inflatobarfer. It reads, "Ninja Jump." It is entirely decorated with spongebob characters. Wha? I suppose there could be ninjas. It's not like I'd see them.


Secondly, is "The Pinata Pit", which appears to be some sort of gallows for children who ignore the "No Cake in the Bounce Area" signs. I never witnessed its use, but I would bet that if anything is hanged from there, it isn't a paper mache burro full of candy.


And then there were some warning signs. Sure, they had real labels, but I think mine are more appropriate and accurate.

No fatties.


This is not a gun show.


Do not headbutt the smaller children. Their heads will asplode.


No B-Boys.


I know what you're thinking: I could do better. Please feel free.

Techsex

I don't speak German, but I'm pretty sure that if a half-nekkid android popped into my world speaking it, I would learn damn quickly.


Sweet Jebus I'm a geek. Where did this obsession with robots come from? Oh, yeah, I was born in the 70's. Star Wars, Star Trek, Knight Rider, Battlestar Galactica, Automan (yeah, that's right) Tron, War Games, and Terminator. Heck, those are just the live action ones that come to mind. Don't get me started on animation.

And for those of you who were even slightly geeked by the steampunk dinosaur, make the switch to diesel.

NERDS!!!

I'm sure I have taken the test before, but so as not to leave Viminious hangin' all alone...