I love martial arts. LOVE. So much that if given the choice between internet porn and kung fu movie clips, I will chose kung fu. Yes, you freaks, I do know that there are videos that include both, but I will leave that blog to other, more twisted folks.
And I love martial arts in all its forms. I love the real, urban-military styles being used by soldiers around the world. I love the mystic KungFu! of fiction, complete with glowing fists and Sinanju masters. I even love the little precious-moment-like children at tae kwon do tournaments with their giant headgear tagging each other for points. I love the slow, grounding, and potentially healing properties of Qigong and Tai Chi.
So why am I not a martial artist? The truth: I'm lazy. It would require me to cut out time and money in my life that I don't want to part with. And I'm afraid of my back. Loading the dishes wrong can leave me limping for months. I'm afraid of what trying to kick above my own waist would do at this point. I'm not afraid of the pain of being punched or kicked or thrown. But living with the deep senseless pain of bad discs is something else.
I miss it. I miss the quiet minded feeling of bunkai fighting drills... The immediate reward of a well executed move as an opponent is stopped... The immediate lesson of a dropped guard or a raised elbow...
It is a transformation of a person. A growth from fat, lazy, anxious people to confident, strong, alert warriors. A balance of quick and calm that I don't feel in other places of life. It is not that I imagine myself ever being Jet Li or Bruce Lee. But it would be nice to feel... more solid?
Showing posts with label kung fu. Show all posts
Showing posts with label kung fu. Show all posts
Friday, February 20, 2009
Friday, October 17, 2008
Nap Fu
Tiny Warrior scans her lunch plate. The eviscerated sandwich remains and apple slice fragments are a warning sign to her. Immediately, she assumes the traditional stance known as Crane Too Cute To Nap and states, "I'm not really sleepy today. I think I could watch some TV instead."
The Master, however, has anticipated this move. Timeless Boulder Stance appears. "Sleep is good for you, it will help you grow strong in the ways of Our Clan."
With a fluidity envied by streams, Crane Too Cute To Nap flows into Solid Pine Forest. "But I'm already big and tall. See?"
The Master sweeps The Tiny Warrior into Wings Folded On High, lifting her into a more maneuverable location. Tiny Warrior deftly retreats into her most comfortable Monkey Style. Climbing Golden Ape, Escaping Chimp, and Gibbon at the Temple Gates are all attempted, but the Master lowers her calmly into bed. The skills of Tiny Warrior are great, but Master was well prepared for this morning's lessons.
"Would you like your music during the nap, sweetie?" The Master turns from the bed to the CD player, preparing the Sacred Chimes of Sleep. He spins at the rustle of mismatched slippers scurrying across the floor.
"I have to go peep!" Tiny Warrior unleashes her Faithful Flood maneuver. The Master once again settles to Timeless Boulder Stance. The hands are washed. The Tiny Warrior returns, this time clad in her fairy costume that had been hidden from the Master. "Can you tell me a fairy story?"
The Master is ever prepared, however. "I will tell you the story of Fairy Pewterstink, in whose trust the bathing of skunks is placed. But first, you must remove the fairy wings, wand, crown, purse, and camera. And crawl into bed."
The counter works, and soon Tiny Warrior is seated in bed. She has not thrown her last attacks, however. The pillows are placed against the wall, preventing her from being forced into Bug in Rug stance. The Master begins his tale, distracting her as he dislodges her slippers and removes her hidden Berenstein Bears book. Tiny Warrior sees this just in time to throw one last attack. "The blankets have to be smooth! No blankets on me!"
Now the Master unveils the true power of the Timeless Boulder Stance. He attacks with a Quiet Kiss, deftly closing the room in darkness as he does. The Tiny Warrior is left to her bedroom.
The Master closes his eyes in the next room, reaching out with his trained Kung Fu senses...
He "sees" Tiny Warrior resisting the nap. She tries her most advanced techniques. Handstand of Buddha, Tower of Forbidden Books, Bridge from the Cliff, and Running Cloud Legs. But despite her perfected skills, sleep overtakes her.
Quietly, the Master opens his eyes, and with a silence equaled only by the fall of night, he enters her bedroom. Tiny Warrior is asleep, still in Defiant Tiger stance. Calmly, lovingly, the Master covers her in warm blankets. He turns and leaves, knowing that soon enough, there will be no battles. The student will become the master.
The Master, however, has anticipated this move. Timeless Boulder Stance appears. "Sleep is good for you, it will help you grow strong in the ways of Our Clan."
With a fluidity envied by streams, Crane Too Cute To Nap flows into Solid Pine Forest. "But I'm already big and tall. See?"
The Master sweeps The Tiny Warrior into Wings Folded On High, lifting her into a more maneuverable location. Tiny Warrior deftly retreats into her most comfortable Monkey Style. Climbing Golden Ape, Escaping Chimp, and Gibbon at the Temple Gates are all attempted, but the Master lowers her calmly into bed. The skills of Tiny Warrior are great, but Master was well prepared for this morning's lessons.
"Would you like your music during the nap, sweetie?" The Master turns from the bed to the CD player, preparing the Sacred Chimes of Sleep. He spins at the rustle of mismatched slippers scurrying across the floor.
"I have to go peep!" Tiny Warrior unleashes her Faithful Flood maneuver. The Master once again settles to Timeless Boulder Stance. The hands are washed. The Tiny Warrior returns, this time clad in her fairy costume that had been hidden from the Master. "Can you tell me a fairy story?"
The Master is ever prepared, however. "I will tell you the story of Fairy Pewterstink, in whose trust the bathing of skunks is placed. But first, you must remove the fairy wings, wand, crown, purse, and camera. And crawl into bed."
The counter works, and soon Tiny Warrior is seated in bed. She has not thrown her last attacks, however. The pillows are placed against the wall, preventing her from being forced into Bug in Rug stance. The Master begins his tale, distracting her as he dislodges her slippers and removes her hidden Berenstein Bears book. Tiny Warrior sees this just in time to throw one last attack. "The blankets have to be smooth! No blankets on me!"
Now the Master unveils the true power of the Timeless Boulder Stance. He attacks with a Quiet Kiss, deftly closing the room in darkness as he does. The Tiny Warrior is left to her bedroom.
The Master closes his eyes in the next room, reaching out with his trained Kung Fu senses...
He "sees" Tiny Warrior resisting the nap. She tries her most advanced techniques. Handstand of Buddha, Tower of Forbidden Books, Bridge from the Cliff, and Running Cloud Legs. But despite her perfected skills, sleep overtakes her.
Quietly, the Master opens his eyes, and with a silence equaled only by the fall of night, he enters her bedroom. Tiny Warrior is asleep, still in Defiant Tiger stance. Calmly, lovingly, the Master covers her in warm blankets. He turns and leaves, knowing that soon enough, there will be no battles. The student will become the master.
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Duck, dodge, parry, thrust...
One of my favorite books is called Snow Crash, by Neal Stephenson. In this book the main character, Hiro, thinks to himself,
Dr. Wife, on the other hand, is a closet ballerina. While I am delivering deadly blows to imaginary enemies in the mirror, she is quietly doing pirouettes and plies, delicately balancing on her tip toes. The prettiness of it causes me some trauma, but I understand that all girls are raised to be prancing ballerinas (unless their fathers intervene with instructions regarding the proper usage of meridian pressure points in combat situations).
This has caused within our household the achievement of a compromise. Young Pie has taken her first gymnastics class at the local gymnastics/cheer/dance academy. Complete with leotard. How is this a compromise? The first years of Kung-Fu training involve teaching flexibility, resiliance in falls, balance, coordination, and the ability to follow direction from the Master. So does gymnastics. Dance focuses on basic moves, stretching and strength, balance, and an appreciation for grace and prettiness. So does gymnastics.
It remains to be seen where the Young Wonder will take this. She may choose to compete, to cheer, to dance, to ballet, to Kung-Fu, or none. But she will be prepared for the time when she must leap to the air and snap a kick into the throat of a young suitor who asked to hold her hand.
*This is quoted poorly from memory. Read the book, as it relates strongly to the influence of language on the development of society and the roots of communication. And it has a guy with a nuke tied to his brain.
"every man believes that he is tough. And when he believes he isn't tough, he still envisions that if he were to seclude himself in a Tibetan shaolin monastery and train for years, he could become the toughest, most bad-ass man alive." *It is because of this, as well as a knowledge that someday boys will want to date my daughter, that I want to enroll her in a traditional Kung-Fu school. There, she would learn to kill with her bare hands, balance on bamboo poles, snatch the pebble from my hand, and wield the un-em-ori death touch. What father doesn't want this? Can there be an end to my life more honorable than my daughter driving her tiger strike through my chest to rip out my beating heart, screaming "I WILL marry, father, and your corpse will sit there quietly as I do!!"? I think not...
Dr. Wife, on the other hand, is a closet ballerina. While I am delivering deadly blows to imaginary enemies in the mirror, she is quietly doing pirouettes and plies, delicately balancing on her tip toes. The prettiness of it causes me some trauma, but I understand that all girls are raised to be prancing ballerinas (unless their fathers intervene with instructions regarding the proper usage of meridian pressure points in combat situations).
This has caused within our household the achievement of a compromise. Young Pie has taken her first gymnastics class at the local gymnastics/cheer/dance academy. Complete with leotard. How is this a compromise? The first years of Kung-Fu training involve teaching flexibility, resiliance in falls, balance, coordination, and the ability to follow direction from the Master. So does gymnastics. Dance focuses on basic moves, stretching and strength, balance, and an appreciation for grace and prettiness. So does gymnastics.
It remains to be seen where the Young Wonder will take this. She may choose to compete, to cheer, to dance, to ballet, to Kung-Fu, or none. But she will be prepared for the time when she must leap to the air and snap a kick into the throat of a young suitor who asked to hold her hand.
*This is quoted poorly from memory. Read the book, as it relates strongly to the influence of language on the development of society and the roots of communication. And it has a guy with a nuke tied to his brain.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
