Compliance required

Miss Neverpoop has taken on the role of Miss Bossypants around the house. She barks orders, despite our complete refusal to obey. Requests with pleases and thank yous are considered, but the orders are ignored.
And yet they flow like wine.
Recently, she decided that she wants to enforce a few table rules.

Miss Neverpoop: "Daddy, don't talk with your mouth full, please."
Me: "My mouth is empty, dear."
Miss Neverpoop: "Mommy, don't talk with your mouth full either, please."
Dr. Wife: "OK honey, I won't."
Miss Neverpoop: "Mommy, did you know that I love you even when you talk with your mouth full?"
Dr. Wife: "I'm glad, honey, and I always love you, too."
Miss Neverpoop: "Yeah, but don't eat with your mouth full."
Me: *stifled laughter*
Dr. Wife: "I have to have food in my mouth to eat."
Miss Neverpoop: "Yeah, but don't eat with your mouth full."
Dr. Wife: "Then how can I eat?"
Miss Neverpoop: "It's ok, I still love you even when you do that."

Obedience is necessary, understanding is optional, and love is unconditional. I wonder where she got that.

The power compels her to color?

A conversation with the daughter:

Miss Neverpoop: "I wanted to color in this coloring book. God made my coloring book so I can color in it, right Daddy?"
Me: "Well, I suppose so. I'm glad you like to color."
Miss Neverpoop: "God made the whole city and the cars and the streets and the roads and the cars and the trees."
Me: "Cool, huh?"
Miss Neverpoop: "And then Jesus got nails in him."
Me: "Well, yeah..."
Miss Neverpoop: "He should color like God wants so that he doesn't have nails in him."
Me: "That's not quite how it works, honey. God didn't put the nails in because he wasn't coloring. Those two don't go together."
Miss Neverpoop: "Yeah, I like to color because that's what I'm supposed to do for God."
Me: "God wants you to be happy and to treat others nicely, dear. And you do that very well."
Miss Neverpoop: "Yeah, I share my colors. That makes God happy."
Me: "I'm sure it does."
Miss Neverpoop: "Then Jesus was put in a rock and a big flat rock was in front of the little rock and some angels opened it to let him out. But he wasn't in there. I think he dug his way out like a dog digs out under a fence if he's a Poky Little Puppy."
Me: "Wow, that's a pretty big idea to work on..."
Miss Neverpoop: "Yeah. Bat and cat rhyme. Cat bat cat dat bat..."

Maybe a little less Sunday school is in order... or more? I don't know what to think of all that. Needless to say, it was a little intense for a 3 year old. Easter Sunday School left some definite impressions, though. I'm a little weirded out by it, to say the least. The ideas are all there, but it seems to be running through some sort of Seuss-ification process that is leaving her with some trippy mental images...

Cheap therapy...

I was having a frustrating day. I discovered that my new hopes of starting in on a Master's degree have to wait a year until I establish Texas residency. And I can't apply for teaching jobs here because my certification is lost somewhere in the pile of crap that remains in the garage since the move. I had started getting hopeful, which was a definite mistake.

So, I decided to tackle a job that I could complete. First, I found a stud in the ceiling by my favorite method: hammer and nail. Then, I drilled a hole using my power drill. POWERTOOLS RULE!!!! I then took a big utility hook and screwed it into the stud. Sure, it's against my lease. But right now my care level for such things is dialed in at about a -3.

The final result; a perfect place to hang the Snotter Daughter's souvenir from Mexico. Now, I need a little rope to adjust the height a wee bit...