Photog Kid

The Tiny Wonder has managed to capture a few wonderful shots in her most recent camera-attack on the world. My favorite part is the perspective. It's not often your photographer is 3 feet tall.


Here you see Matt and I planning our futures...


Here you see Dr. Wife and Theresa planning to thwart our silliness...


Our lovely vacation homes...



Popeye...


And after the little shutterbug forced me to put a dress on Shamu, she thought they should pose for a picture.

New Testament

Another odd conversation with the Daughter...

• Daughter: "Daddy, how did Jesus make us?"
• Me: "Well, that's not really how it happened..."
• Daughter: "I know how he did it. First, he took a big balloon and blew it up and it made my round tummy. Then he put some cute little toes and some cute little feet and some cute little ankles and some strong legs like this on it and some arms and a head. Then I just started wiggling around and then I was here."
• Me: "Wow."
• Daughter: "That's how I would do it when I'm Jesus."

I had no other intelligent response. I just kissed her goodnight and went downstairs to laugh.

Strange geek

Comic books? check
Sci Fi? check
Science? check
Computers? check
Odd musical interests? check
Role Playing Games? check
Occasional kilt? check
Video games?.... uh, well, check

I have held out on purchasing a gaming system for a while. And by "for a while," I mean 23 years. My last video game system was a used Nintendo, bought from my friend Jube, just as the Nintendo was being phased out. Prior to that, my Atari 2600 was hooked up to the old Zenith. Yar's Revenge.

Nor had I purchased a video game. Not only did I stick with the systems I had, I never bought new games. I only played what came with the used Nintendo and the original games my parents bought for the 2600. When they got boring, I quit playing. And despite the fact that I have owned computers non-stop for 14 years, I never bought a PC game.

Video games serve one purpose: entertainment. And they cost money. I don't allow myself this type of extravagance. Never have. It was drilled into me early that this sort of thing was immature, impractical, and bound to destroy my value to the rest of the world. If I was playing games, I was wasting valuable time that others needed from me. Why would I play a game when I could be studying/cleaning/working/other responsible thing? What would happen if someone needed me to save the earth and I said, "wait a sec, I need to level up first..."?

But yesterday, I bought a Wii.
Irresponsible? check
Expensive? check
Indulgent? check
Will I go to hell for this? check

But in trying to find ways to not go insane, and to find activities that the whole family can play with, this option popped up. So we took the plunge. There were a few obstacles, such as finding one in a store. But with diligence and google maps, anything can be found.

Step one: Dr. Wife. It really was her idea. She was interested in me adding some fun into my life, and in entertaining my brother during his visit. She was also slightly intrigued, though she is pictured next to the word "responsible" in the dictionary and would never admit to something as frivolous as gaming. She seems to enjoy it so far, even going so far as to play a few games last night. Laughter was observed. Mii was made. Good sign...

Step two: Four-year-old. The truth is, I don't need hobbies that take me away from parenting. So this had to be something she could do. She helped make her mii. And then she bowled.

Step three: Rationing. As with any new technology, I have a slight habit of letting it devour my attention, taking away my desire for food, sleep, and human contact. Am I capable of doing this "just a little?" I hope. A good sign is that I did, indeed, sleep last night. And other than this blog, I have not stopped the job hunt or house work today. That's right: I haven't touched my Wii today.

Will I? Probably. I mean, what man left alone all day wouldn't touch his Wii? I know that many of you would play with my Wii if you were here right now. A little bit seems ok. I just can't let myself get obsessed with my little Mii when the big Me needs a job.

Beer, kilts and pipes

The brothers Colin, Ben, and Matt

About a month ago, I had an amazing event occur. I brewed, with the guidance of my brothers, my first batch of beer. It all began with a spanking, as new life is wont to do.
I slapped a yeast pack, breaking a nutrient pouch and starting the reproductive process of a California lager yeast. As the gases built, and the population increased, the babies had to feed. So they were given a light malt, designed to feed the yeast without flavoring the future beer. In this malt they fed, our little yeastlings, multiplying like small-town Missouri teenagers...

The next day was truly the brewing day. Cold beers were consumed in the gorgeous Indiana spring sun. The burners were ignited, and our water was heated to 168°F in preparation for the mash.
The boiling kettle

2.25 gallons of this clear hot water (I still am coping with the non-metric units) were added to the mash tun, a large orange cooler with a false-bottom filter and spigot. To this we added 8-lbs Rahr 2-row pale grain and 1 lb. Simpsons Caramalt grain. This was allowed to stew for 1 hour, as the heat released sugars and enzymes from grains.
Hot water on the move

The grains taking a bath

Three-tiers of fun

Our next tool; gravity. I'm amazed at how simple this can be, in the absence of pumps and valves and gear. A three-tier system was created. The top tier was sparge water at 170°F. Its purpose is to help wash the sugars from the grain and husks. This flowed into the mash tun, our second tier, from a large sports cooler like the other, but without the filter. The mash tun then released our sugary soon-beer wort into the third tier, a boiling tank set on the ground. The sparge water kept the grains out of the nozzles and rinsed them, gravity pulled the wart into the bottom tank. The first few liters that came out were cloudy, filled with grain residue and husk fragments. They were sent back through the spent husks, which acted as a filter. After we began to get clear wort, it was on.
Sweet hot wort; yeast food!

When this was done, we topped off with more of the heated water, and set a very full kettle full of rich, sugary, syrupy wort to boil. During this time, we added 1 oz. Cluster hops, 1 tsp of Irish moss (to improve clarity). At the end of our hour, the beer was ready to be cooled by steam-punk-esque copper coils and prepped for the yeast.
Cold water immersion cooling coils

We drained the boiled wort into a sterilized fermentation tank, a giant clear carboy, and hauled it to the cool basement. The yeast was pitched, and the hungry little buggers began devouring the sugars we had prepared for them. And they shit alcohol my friends. They shit alcohol.
Wind-up and the pitch

I have dragged enough detail into this, my friends, so I will spare you the anxious, father-in-the-waiting-room specific gravity measurements. I will also spare you the delight with which the flavor moved from soggy friendship bread to hoppy alcohol and grain. Two days later, the beer was removed from the protein sediment (more yeast poop) and placed into a second sterilized carboy. The fermentation had gone from an active bubble-dance to a subtle fizz at this point.
So now I wait. Brother Matt will bottle this soon (keg date had been scheduled for August 1st, but I doubt he will wait). And then, I get to meet my baby beer.
Anxious Daddy.